The two deepest desires most people have are to love and be loved.
We also want to believe we are worthwhile, and know that someone else believes that too. We need to feel loved, have someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.
Are these needs or wants? Who knows? But they are important and are probably driving forces in our lives.
Most of us, perhaps subconsciously, have been trying to meet these needs. Some of us - to protect ourselves - may have blocked or shut off these needs. But they are still there, whether we acknowledge them or not.
If the way we have gone about trying to get our needs met hasn’t worked, then we need to do things differently.
We don’t have to stay in miserable relationships. We are free to take care of ourselves. We are responsible for our choices and how we behave in initiating, maintaining, and discontinuing relationships where appropriate.
We may want and need love, but we don’t need destructive love.
Sometimes we can lose ourselves in caring for other people, but first and foremost we need to learn to take care of ourselves, and understand our own needs and wants.
If we believe we are important and free to set our own goals, we open ourselves up to new opportunities. The good things won’t necessarily come without a struggle, but at least we are heading for something worthwhile, and not simply suffering.